12.14.2006
Sometimes I really think I'm bi-polar.
When I have my ups, I really have my ups!!
But when I have my downs...
...eek.
It's crazy to think you want to be where everyone else is, but then find yourself just being left out when you're already there. People often say that I'm so lucky. I see that, sometimes... but often I'm the spotlight of generously unwanted attention. Argh! Try as I might, I can never really make myself small enough, invisible enough, quiet enough, to the point where someone doesn't even notice me like I'm just another part of the room.
Kiddies out there may say that, "oh yes, you're so lucky, you're complaining about the amount the attention you're receiving when most people attempt suicide because they believe they don't get enough." Can I really help that my opinion of attention isn't all that cracked up to be?
Tomorrow is the staff party where I work. I actually want to go, haha. At first it was cancelled due to "lack of participation." My bad for not signing up... I meant to, and I had every intention to, and it was funny that on the day I was actually going to sign up to bring [insert food item], Jen tells me that it's cancelled on my way back from the bathroom. Hrm. I just didn't know there was a deadline, is all. It seems like we really have to show our gratitude, our appreciation, our eagerness to have this employee party in order to earn it or something. I really don't understand the way Raleigh Hills ALF works. And I don't think I ever will.
Same night is David's staff party as well, haha. Too bad... I wanted to bring him along but I think he needs some time to wind down with the guys or whatever, and since it's a gaming sort of party at his work, it should be fun. Planning on going for a shoot on Saturday morning somewhere in the downtown Portland area, or something... I've just been itching to take some pictures.
And Tyler and Jen just got engaged! Congratulations for those two! Wow. I knew it was coming, as it should! Those two need to settle down... and have children of their own! I can't wait for the wedding - it's photo shoot time! :D
;it's something sophiscated.
3:55 PM
