8.13.2005
hmmm....
sad that shan might not be able to go to canada - she is w/o a passport :(
wtf, that fucking sucks!! *sigh* i'm thinking of getting her the kama sutra
book she's always wanted... :) or this thing on sensual masseuse manuevers
and whatnot, hahaha! but i'm being serious, which makes it even funnier...
well, worky poo is just GREAT. not really... it's driving me crazy that i go
against what i say, like saying i'm going to quit but i don't. not that i don't
want to, it's just the prospect of getting a new job is the whole hassle. it's
this great big obstacle that's robbing me of my future.
or something like that.
hung out @ flavordisk's last night with jon and some of flavor's roommates,
watched nip/tuck, haha, had some beers - or i had one, i needed to drive
home and i was already so tired by then... idk, it was weird, sitting on that
couch with all those homies. not weird, it was totally fine with me, i was
pretty chill... just, i don't know, nevermind, haha. i'm not going to explain
myself all the time. i need to maintain SOME level of mystery in my life,
albeit a miniscule amount, but hey, a miniscule amount is still considered
an amount. get me?
it was also funny to see jon all drugged up like he was. poor guy, he collapsed after writing some ill lyrics while with only and al-one, from what i heard, his back was already screwed from a long ago car accident. guess it was a sure sign not to fuck around with words, haha. some people need schooling on that particular topic, playing around with words. after i took a nap, i remembered a line i said before i woke up, "such pretty words aren't meant to come out as lies from such an ugly mouth." haha such a fucked up dream.
talked with marta about applying for a new job at this one place her bro
applied at and got paid $10 an hour... not fuckin' bad! i mean, for a temp job
or something. might do that tuesday. we laughed SO MUCH today about
so many things - like Tony one of the perverted residents, and just...
oh man, we couldn't stop laughing, marta, rosalba and i. they're great pals,
plus coworkers - w/o them, my days at work would be shitty as all get out.
erika and lulu advice me during my lunch break about my guy problems,
haha, oh man, they're so good at that... but erika, out of all of them. she's
been married for 12 years, and she tells me of all the shit she's gone through
with her amor.
"the greatest advice i can give you is this: don't listen to what people say.
only you know what's really going on, only YOU know this guy, because if
something goes wrong, you would have to say at the end 'it was HER/HIM
that told me to do it this way!' no, it doesn't work that way. you have to listen
to your heart - do what feels right to you. if doesn't work out, it doesn't work
out. at least you won't have regrets because somebody else gave you bad
advice."
haha, i loved that. it was great. plus i talked to dast on MSN and on the phone
and he seemed to make me feel better about my woes. but i reassured him
of my revelation, how i couldn't give a big fat one anymore, but he read
right through me. just like rob does. geez. i wish i wasn't so transparent, ha.
but i am. i think i always will be.
that fucking sucks. i tell you hwhat.
and i was too tired today to do anything. i could've gone over to john's to kick
it and have him cook some sort of thai food for me, have a couple cold ones, but
NO, i was too tired. or played some "broken pinball" and watched a sad movie
with dast, but NO, or i could've driven 5 minutes and kicked it over at flavorisk's
again. but NO, i was too damn tired. grar. my head's tellin me yes, but my body's
tellin me ...
yeah, you get the gist. rawr, i rear my ugly head in a silent, typed-out rage! haha
ah man. good times, good times.
i love it.
;it's something sophiscated.
11:07 PM
