2.07.2005
hm.
today is...ah...monday.
the 7th...?
i think it is. anyway, moved to beaverton "portland" yesterday. it rained and
some of my stuff got wet - thank god it had plastic around them. wow. so
weird living away from "home." i guess i should be calling this home now, huh?
i do, in a way. took stanley and dessert with me [my betta and cat]. they seem
to be enjoying themselves tho dessert kinda freaked out on the way up here,
what a weird cat lol. using today as a means for laundry and hanging things up
and whatnot. i feel as tho ppl are mad at me for leaving. i guess i don't blame them; i'd be as mad as hell too, haha. it's just...weird for it to be directed at me.
nice.
got my license on the 3rd - i was pretty spazzed. shan and i went to ashland and looked around - i took some pictures. i hope shan doesn't hold it against me for leaving; it's not like i'm not going to visit. but for some reason i never want to come back and live there, and it isn't because of the people i care about that live there, mind you. it's just...that place. medford. it doesn't sit well with me. the fact that a lot of people there know me and have gossipped and all that crap about me...i'd rather go somewhere where no one would immediately put you in your place and categorize you because they know you/your family or have heard something about you that they didn't particularly like. now here, it's like starting on a clean slate. makes me breathe easier.
i do regret leaving some things behind, i.e. my dad and mom. they won't be able to stand one another for long, i can feel it. i was always the median in their relationship; i could [almost] always tone them down when they're getting fussy at one another [sounds like children; same difference]. i just hope dad will be able to...nevermind.
i'm [so] happy that i can't even think straight. i feel guilty for being happy that i'm up here...what am i supposed to do?
*sigh*
;it's something sophiscated.
1:58 PM
